fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
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