Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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