he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
