Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
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