I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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