Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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