whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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