Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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