Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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