I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
