You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
