just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
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Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
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Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize