Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
