K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
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