I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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