Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
