Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I smell stomach acid.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Your cock deserves a montage
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Randomize
