Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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