using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Randomize
