i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Randomize
