i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
