So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize