He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
