I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
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So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
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Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
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