There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
