Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
