I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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