i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
