That's when you crack a 10am beer
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Randomize
