you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
