I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
