I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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