Don't you send me to vm
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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