how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
