so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
