im about as happy as oj after his trial
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
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