I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
