Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
well I can't set my house on fire every night
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Dignity is for republicans.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
