She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
