I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
