there's paper in my vomit.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
