but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Randomize
