The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
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