Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize