There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
