my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
