I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Randomize
