ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
