He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
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I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
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