I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Small penises have feelings too.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
My butt remains clenched, sir.
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