Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
