The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
So here I am, sexting at work.
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