Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
And then my night got REAL pukey
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
