I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
