turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
Naked Twister starts at high noon
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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