after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.