Texts From Last Night

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  (816): View more from Missouri

  I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.

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  (816): I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery. http://tfl.nu/2bt2
  Replies (1) Good night (1017) Bad night (511)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.

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  (630): Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes. http://tfl.nu/1voe
  Replies (7) Good night (623) Bad night (1982)
• Favorite

  (502): View more from Kentucky

  i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list

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  (502): i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list http://tfl.nu/o9vo
  Replies (6) Good night (736) Bad night (2409)
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.

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  (503): idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him. http://tfl.nu/3ewm
  Replies (20) Good night (2812) Bad night (552)
• Favorite

  (256): View more from Alabama

  Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.

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  (256): Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference. http://tfl.nu/q39i
  Replies (33) Good night (3820) Bad night (1298)
• Favorite

  (580): View more from Oklahoma

  I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.

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  (580): I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence. http://tfl.nu/vucu
  Replies (18) Good night (6753) Bad night (947)
• Favorite

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should

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  (609): i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should http://tfl.nu/q5zo
  Replies (25) Good night (4348) Bad night (754)
• Favorite

  (816): View more from Missouri

  So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.

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  (816): So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me. http://tfl.nu/bb44
  Replies (23) Good night (1493) Bad night (5328)
• Favorite

  (713): View more from Texas

  Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.

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  (713): Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go. http://tfl.nu/z9ow
  Replies (10) Good night (3529) Bad night (928)
• Favorite

  (708): View more from Illinois

  Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.

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  (708): Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door. http://tfl.nu/qh5i
  Replies (6) Good night (3941) Bad night (848)
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.

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  (919): He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say. http://tfl.nu/o436
  Replies (8) Good night (874) Bad night (2355)
• Favorite

  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.

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  (814): The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since. http://tfl.nu/i7hq
  Replies (5) Good night (1362) Bad night (1531)
• Favorite

  (970): View more from Colorado

  Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...

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  (970): Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out... http://tfl.nu/zr6z
  Replies (3) Good night (867) Bad night (420)
• Favorite

  (347): View more from New York

  Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..

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  (347): Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that.. http://tfl.nu/n8po
  Replies (4) Good night (456) Bad night (340)
• Favorite

  (440): View more from Ohio

  Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..

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  (440): Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix.. http://tfl.nu/v9u4
  Replies (1) Good night (196) Bad night (381)

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