really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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