i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Randomize
