in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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