I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
