That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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