i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
