So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Randomize
