I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
