On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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